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Commando

Posted on 
May 4, 2018

It’s amazing what a difference of 1,748 miles can make.

                         Minneapolis, MN     Reno, NV             
 Rainfall (in.)       32.3645                10.223   39.2           
 Snowfall (in.)      53.0958                24.1705                 
 Prec. Days          63.952                 22.6714                 
 Sunny Days        198                       252                        
 Avg. July High     83.5124               89.8657                  
 Avg. Jan. Low     7.44528                22.8324                 
Comfort Ind.(high=better) 42               73                       
 UV Index              3.1                         5.1                      
 Elevation ft.          854                      4,612                    
Target Stores        15 +                       2                         
Trader Joe’s           7                           1                        
Public Dispensaries  0                      15+                      
Brothels                     0                       5?                        

It has been about 2 months since I got in to my tightly packed Subaru to leave the flat lands of Minneapolis in search of sunshiny mountains. I picked up my BFF on a Sunday morning, and off we went on Highway 35 until we took THE only right, on 80.  

We witnessed white out conditions somewhere during our second day of driving, along with winds so strong that they literally blew over semi’s. For real, the highways were closed for them. Sue and I persevered, because I am a baller driver, and she was cool and collected, perfect team.

After the Snow and Wind Hell cleared, we were then attacked by 3,485,963 tumbleweeds, give or take. I have never witnessed a human that found it to be so hysterical and entertaining to be pummeled from all angles by tumbleweeds, and I am pretty sure that Sue split a gut laughing and shrieking so hard with pure glee. Brilliance.

That evening, we continued to find an oddly dated hotel near SLC, Utah and ordered in Chinese comfort food, because I was physically tired from gripping the damn wheel so hard that day.
And I needed a 40oz.

By the time that we I arrived in Reno the next day, we had learned everything that is currently happening with the entire cast of the ever-loved show from our youth: What’s Happening (R.I.P. Shirley and Re-Run) and may never listen to Sirius’ First Wave the same way again.

I gotta say that seeing all the sights with someone that has never had the pleasure of doing so before that drive, was pure joy viewing it with their eyes. I have completed that road trip between CA & MN almost 10 times, and I was a bit blasé thinking about the drive. I could not have imagined how much humor a tumble weed could hold, and that being forced to rest my car at a truck stop would provide such fabulous items as the photo book “Whose Butt?” and packaged pickles larger and seemingly older than me.

During her short visit in NV, Sue finally experienced the beauty of Lake Tahoe that I never shut up about, gazed upon pine trees taller than she’d ever been around and witnessed the oddities of Reno that I enjoy to no end. It was comforting to embark on this new adventure with a dear friend, but also heart wrenching knowing that she may be the last familiar face I see for quite some time.

When I dropped Sue off at the airport, I was in full denial, and didn’t want to get all gooey. I was trying to stay strong while waving good bye, then immediately began to hysterically ugly cry the second I got in my driver’s seat. If crying was my new job in NV, I would have got a fucking promotion that day….and could still be employed.

Cue freak outs.
This is not a holiday; this shit is for real.
I LIVE in mother F’in Reno, I know no one besides the 3-people related to me, and one of them is 12 years old.
I also need a job that doesn’t involve crying and does include a paycheck.

Starting entirely fresh at the new age of 46, may not be the smoothest idea I’ve ever had, but it can’t be the worst.

Sure, I walked away from a comfortable career of 12+ years, and left a huge amount of people that I love more than the moon, but that’s when we need to get out of our comfort zone, right?
Shake things up to progress in life?
Embrace the unknown and ignore the fear and self-doubt.
Rah, rah, shish boom bah!
Fuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuu and your ass face, Keeler.

I am so far from comfort, security, belonging, that home feels a million miles away.

I literally cannot run into anyone I know.

Generally, at this age, we move for a job, OR maybe move with or for someone, and have a small feeling of community from the get-go. You gain insight from colleagues about the new city you landed in and have a conversation with another human a few times a day at work, or at home. Perhaps you attend company functions or a happy hour and meet someone that you click with or have something fun to attend without totally free balling it all the time.  At the very least, you have a pay check coming in, and people depend on you.

Besides my brother’s family, his barber, and my landlord, no one knows I live in Reno, or who in the hell I am.

I miss seeing people’s smiling faces when I show up, knowing we’ll have good conversation and probably a lot of laughs. I love feeling their positivity when I leave, and the connection we created.

I want a purpose.

I am either under or over qualified for jobs here. Warehouse or White Collar. Elan Musk’s factory does not currently have a need for my skill set, unless I did security, and with this altitude, I am getting my ass kicked, not giving ass kicking’s.

I did accept a PT retail position that has a ton of perks and many like-minded people to work with, which is fabulous. Feels like every fitness trainer and college student in Reno works there, and they are supportive on all accounts. Plus, I get free fitness classes, and gym memberships, so I really couldn’t dream up a retail job better than that.

I am also supposed to start teaching a bootcamp class next week, 2 days a week, at the fitness center of a golf club in Sparks. They say no one goes to classes at the time I was hired for, so, they hope that I bring IT, and I hope to werk their shit UP in there!

Baby steps. Patience. Life shall start to settle in due time.

I am just aching to feel at ease, expel a sigh of relief, and to feel a sense of comfort that the growing pains have passed. To feel content and established cannot come soon enough….and to have a friend to grab a beer with over the age of 22 would be pretty swell too, that feels weird.

It gets old doing everything by myself. Mainly it gets exhausting always having “topical” conversations. Never building from another conversation I had, it’s always like a first date. Anything I may do with a possible friend from here on out, pretty much is a first date, it’s all background, getting to know each other, seeing if we click. First dates are exhausting, but you can't win if you don't play, or something like that.

Again, this is regular life stuff. My situation is just condensed as far as everything and everyone being new, and anything I wish for relies solely on my own actions. Reno IS an amazing city, the people are SO nice, and I really am having terrific experiences, don't get me wrong. I am just feeling defeated these days, and perhaps knowing that the energy in MN is bubbling over to bring summer the hell on, makes me home sick for that familiar,crazed feeling we all share in MN when spring has sprung.

Flux is my current state, resulting from my bright idea to up and move for sunshine and mountains, while relying on the Universe to present me with opportunities. Funny, we all really should be doing that, to some extent. Sit back and let it all unfold. Don’t over think what’s next, be present, loosen your bone, appreciate what IS, and trust in yourself. We can do hard things, we can tackle our yuck, focus on the yum, and some day we’ll look back on this and wonder why my panties were in such a bunch. Underwear is so over rated.

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Commando

Posted on 
May 4, 2018

It’s amazing what a difference of 1,748 miles can make.

                         Minneapolis, MN     Reno, NV             
 Rainfall (in.)       32.3645                10.223   39.2           
 Snowfall (in.)      53.0958                24.1705                 
 Prec. Days          63.952                 22.6714                 
 Sunny Days        198                       252                        
 Avg. July High     83.5124               89.8657                  
 Avg. Jan. Low     7.44528                22.8324                 
Comfort Ind.(high=better) 42               73                       
 UV Index              3.1                         5.1                      
 Elevation ft.          854                      4,612                    
Target Stores        15 +                       2                         
Trader Joe’s           7                           1                        
Public Dispensaries  0                      15+                      
Brothels                     0                       5?                        

It has been about 2 months since I got in to my tightly packed Subaru to leave the flat lands of Minneapolis in search of sunshiny mountains. I picked up my BFF on a Sunday morning, and off we went on Highway 35 until we took THE only right, on 80.  

We witnessed white out conditions somewhere during our second day of driving, along with winds so strong that they literally blew over semi’s. For real, the highways were closed for them. Sue and I persevered, because I am a baller driver, and she was cool and collected, perfect team.

After the Snow and Wind Hell cleared, we were then attacked by 3,485,963 tumbleweeds, give or take. I have never witnessed a human that found it to be so hysterical and entertaining to be pummeled from all angles by tumbleweeds, and I am pretty sure that Sue split a gut laughing and shrieking so hard with pure glee. Brilliance.

That evening, we continued to find an oddly dated hotel near SLC, Utah and ordered in Chinese comfort food, because I was physically tired from gripping the damn wheel so hard that day.
And I needed a 40oz.

By the time that we I arrived in Reno the next day, we had learned everything that is currently happening with the entire cast of the ever-loved show from our youth: What’s Happening (R.I.P. Shirley and Re-Run) and may never listen to Sirius’ First Wave the same way again.

I gotta say that seeing all the sights with someone that has never had the pleasure of doing so before that drive, was pure joy viewing it with their eyes. I have completed that road trip between CA & MN almost 10 times, and I was a bit blasé thinking about the drive. I could not have imagined how much humor a tumble weed could hold, and that being forced to rest my car at a truck stop would provide such fabulous items as the photo book “Whose Butt?” and packaged pickles larger and seemingly older than me.

During her short visit in NV, Sue finally experienced the beauty of Lake Tahoe that I never shut up about, gazed upon pine trees taller than she’d ever been around and witnessed the oddities of Reno that I enjoy to no end. It was comforting to embark on this new adventure with a dear friend, but also heart wrenching knowing that she may be the last familiar face I see for quite some time.

When I dropped Sue off at the airport, I was in full denial, and didn’t want to get all gooey. I was trying to stay strong while waving good bye, then immediately began to hysterically ugly cry the second I got in my driver’s seat. If crying was my new job in NV, I would have got a fucking promotion that day….and could still be employed.

Cue freak outs.
This is not a holiday; this shit is for real.
I LIVE in mother F’in Reno, I know no one besides the 3-people related to me, and one of them is 12 years old.
I also need a job that doesn’t involve crying and does include a paycheck.

Starting entirely fresh at the new age of 46, may not be the smoothest idea I’ve ever had, but it can’t be the worst.

Sure, I walked away from a comfortable career of 12+ years, and left a huge amount of people that I love more than the moon, but that’s when we need to get out of our comfort zone, right?
Shake things up to progress in life?
Embrace the unknown and ignore the fear and self-doubt.
Rah, rah, shish boom bah!
Fuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuu and your ass face, Keeler.

I am so far from comfort, security, belonging, that home feels a million miles away.

I literally cannot run into anyone I know.

Generally, at this age, we move for a job, OR maybe move with or for someone, and have a small feeling of community from the get-go. You gain insight from colleagues about the new city you landed in and have a conversation with another human a few times a day at work, or at home. Perhaps you attend company functions or a happy hour and meet someone that you click with or have something fun to attend without totally free balling it all the time.  At the very least, you have a pay check coming in, and people depend on you.

Besides my brother’s family, his barber, and my landlord, no one knows I live in Reno, or who in the hell I am.

I miss seeing people’s smiling faces when I show up, knowing we’ll have good conversation and probably a lot of laughs. I love feeling their positivity when I leave, and the connection we created.

I want a purpose.

I am either under or over qualified for jobs here. Warehouse or White Collar. Elan Musk’s factory does not currently have a need for my skill set, unless I did security, and with this altitude, I am getting my ass kicked, not giving ass kicking’s.

I did accept a PT retail position that has a ton of perks and many like-minded people to work with, which is fabulous. Feels like every fitness trainer and college student in Reno works there, and they are supportive on all accounts. Plus, I get free fitness classes, and gym memberships, so I really couldn’t dream up a retail job better than that.

I am also supposed to start teaching a bootcamp class next week, 2 days a week, at the fitness center of a golf club in Sparks. They say no one goes to classes at the time I was hired for, so, they hope that I bring IT, and I hope to werk their shit UP in there!

Baby steps. Patience. Life shall start to settle in due time.

I am just aching to feel at ease, expel a sigh of relief, and to feel a sense of comfort that the growing pains have passed. To feel content and established cannot come soon enough….and to have a friend to grab a beer with over the age of 22 would be pretty swell too, that feels weird.

It gets old doing everything by myself. Mainly it gets exhausting always having “topical” conversations. Never building from another conversation I had, it’s always like a first date. Anything I may do with a possible friend from here on out, pretty much is a first date, it’s all background, getting to know each other, seeing if we click. First dates are exhausting, but you can't win if you don't play, or something like that.

Again, this is regular life stuff. My situation is just condensed as far as everything and everyone being new, and anything I wish for relies solely on my own actions. Reno IS an amazing city, the people are SO nice, and I really am having terrific experiences, don't get me wrong. I am just feeling defeated these days, and perhaps knowing that the energy in MN is bubbling over to bring summer the hell on, makes me home sick for that familiar,crazed feeling we all share in MN when spring has sprung.

Flux is my current state, resulting from my bright idea to up and move for sunshine and mountains, while relying on the Universe to present me with opportunities. Funny, we all really should be doing that, to some extent. Sit back and let it all unfold. Don’t over think what’s next, be present, loosen your bone, appreciate what IS, and trust in yourself. We can do hard things, we can tackle our yuck, focus on the yum, and some day we’ll look back on this and wonder why my panties were in such a bunch. Underwear is so over rated.

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